Fast Food Snob

I am one. So what?

I remember way back when I watched a John Berardi lecture, where he explained what a perfect day was. You wake up, you have your perfectly planned balanced breakfast, your post workout shake, your prepacked lunch, you afternoon snack in your car, then a great healthy perfectly acid base balanced dinner...and then you think oh I am having a perfect day, and another one, and another one, and then life happens.

Then you come home, starved, dehydrated, you've missed the last three meals, you are so stress ridden from traffic your hands are shaking, your back aches and you can barely remember waking up...was that even today? There are days, when you can't wait to get your veggies out of the fridge and cut them up, where all the meat looks bland, and the thought of an egg sounds like too much work to even start cracking on. If you were a normal person, you would have gone through the local drive through and enjoyed your local choice of fast food. А burger, or two, with fries, or not. Me...I'm a fast food snob, so I go by the store, pick up the best whole wheat bread with apples and cinnamon, a pack of the most delicious gourmet goat cheese, some fresh butter and I am off home, to make two pieces of toast with plenty of great tasting cheese and enjoy it with a glass of very well chilled Pinot Grigio. 100% satisfaction 0% crap 200% fast food.

Midnight Biker

I was coming home from a late dinner tonight and driving, I saw a guy on a bike, going pretty fast. He was wearing jeans and sneakers and t-shirt, no helmet or protection. He proceeded to ride in front of me, took a turn around my building and went to the playground they built for skating, biking and rollerblading. Picture the extreme competition type platforms.

As I was walking home from my car, I was listening to him do jumps and turns and flips...with no protection, in the middle of the night.

What drove him there? The midnight cool air. The lack of other kids. The feeling of being alone under the light with no one to watch. No one to watch him mess up. Yet no one to watch him do his best flip. Maybe he just had a fight with his friends and needs to be left alone. Maybe he's celebrating his new bike, or the start of summer break. Whatever he's doing, he can do that thing alone. I silently admire that. I have the same admiration for the 7 a.m. guy that I see in the gym, and the busy mom who ran for her appointment with me in her lunch break. Hats off to all these people for staying in touch with their bodies.

Gym Gems

Too bad that Guido and Luigi no longer exists as a comic strip. Neither does Unfit.
Those were very cool.

Little did I know that comic strip worthy people existed in the 24 hour gym that we go to, here in wonderful and crazy fit California.

I usually wear my headphones and don't hear much of what people say and while I have written about what some people do in the past, I have never heard what are best described as gym gems :)

Last night might as well have been a comic strip, featuring the following characters:

100 rep cable crunch PT

" Yeah man, I love this personal training job, before that I worked in a bar for a while, before that in real estate, but nothing is this good man, my client just lost 24 lbs in 3 weeks and I am like wow dude, the best next thing to this is being a doctor. Love the job, man..."

Formerly 236 lbs bodybuilder guy

"I lost so much weight last week, was very sick, couldn't eat man, so I am down to 225 lbs like a week later and everybody is saying man you look so huge...and I am like so much lighter. What's wrong with these guys?"

Manga hair wifebeater guy

" It's all about the protein, bro. You need to maintain your weight, this is at least 150 grams of protein and this is just to m-a-i-n-t-a-i-n. And alcohol dude, that stuff is catabolic. That means it eats your muscle, so if you drink it cancels all the muscle you made that week. And you must eat eggs, like egg whites and remove the yellows."

Spanish Diva

" So this is how you do this for your legs and they look great"

As she proceeds to do a romanian deadlift all wrong, even though her legs do look great.

I wish I could draw better :)

Buffet lunches, large waistlines and other jiggly thoughts...

This is a small dessert spoon. It's sitting on top of my coffee cup. The small dent in it is all I ate of that artificial tasting cube of jello, one of the desserts at a Sunday buffet. There wasn't really much choice, brownies, ice cream, strawberry mousse, muffins, apples and oranges.

There were all sorts of people at the buffet: families with macaroni and cheese eating kids, moms with lettuce laden plates, dads with two bowls of chili each...and then there were the really really large people next to our booth.

We were starved and exhausted from working out when we got there, so each of us got salad with plenty of cheese, soups with the most meat and some corn bread. We splurged on a piece of bread each, and I had two slices of orange for desert, while my partner had some ice cream. I did want to try the jello and you can tell how great it was from the picture of the leftover of my first and only serving of it. As I was trying to take that photo, I noticed that the girl from large couple sitting next to us was enjoying another serving of dessert, after ice cream. She was having 10 of these same jello things that I had just tried. They were the most nutritionally empty choice she could have made, given there were apples, ice cream and cottage cheese...so I wondered is it that people have no choice. I will admit that I love watching heavier people eat and shop because it gives me an insight into their choices and the power they have to choose what's good for them and what's not. This girl had already chosen a pink sugar drink, baked potato with chili and sour cream and cheese and now was digging into a second desert. Given the metabolic and mental complications most bigger people have to deal with, I can imagine those choices didn't help.

We can argue until tomorrow on the health and genetic origins of being heavier and having a hard time losing weight, but when you watch a couple engaging in the same behavior you can't ignore the strong relationship. Could we be the larger couple? Sure. We would just have to choose to not exercise and eat at much as we want at the buffets we go to. Oh, and I might need to learn to like jello.

Third World Squatter

We were at the annual JP fitness summit last week and looking over the pictures, Roland said I was a third world squatter. Squatting was never hard for me, pistol or no pistol, and believe it or not the only squat that makes me cry is the Bulgarian squat, but I hadn't noticed how I just dropped down into a squat every time I was tired and didn't feel like standing up. It made me read an excellent article over again, too, and also gave me the cruel idea of bottom up progressions of static low squat positions that my clients will surely hate once I make it back to Bulgaria.

No bottomless bowl

During a lecture at last week's Fitness Retreat we were discussing how much is enough to satisfy a craving. In the context of emotional eating, where we are filling a nearly bottomless pit, the answer is closer to infinity. And yes, every conscious eater finds the following to be true:

whether you have a little or a lot, you eventually come to the end

It could be the end of a piece of candy, a red vine, a bar of chocolate, a box of chocolates, the bottom of a box of ice cream, your safe stash of super duper healthy double organic raisins, or a bottle of juice, sooner or later, 50 or 500 or 2500 calories later, it's over, diet goals be damned.

In Mindless Eating, a brilliant book I picked up last year, they invariably show that if food is available and easy to see, it will be eaten. If you are one of those people that come home with the intent to eat clean only to finish off a bar of chocolate that was meant to last a week, consider the following no bottomless bowl laws:

1. Sooner or later, you've eaten it all. You'll digest it, assimilate it and some of it will go on top of your hard earned muscle. You'll see abs "some other time" as we say in Bulgarian. Knowing this, choose to beat the quantity, not the quality. Have a piece of chocolate, fully conscious that one more won't add more taste or more satisfaction, it will add more time to your goal. It will add more fat to your body. More dissatisfaction, more sacrifice. You don't want it THAT bad. Limit yourself to 10% of your calories for the day in happy foods and you've had enough.

2. Doughnuts aren't love. We all need to feel good. It just so happens that most feel good foods are not feel lean foods. Face the feelings that overwhelm you at moments when you want to eat. Find alternate ways to show yourself that you love your body and you give it the best it deserves. Some of us want to mask a feeling, by coating it with a thick layer of sugar, others want to make food disappear, because they want to make a problem disappear. Honestly, will it?

3. It's all in your head. Have you even spent the afternoon thinking of going home and destroying whatever is in the fridge. Taking a break. Doing it all for fun. Sometimes the thought of food excites us so much that it paints a picture we crave even more. Try this simple NLP exercise. Imagine your food like it's on a TV screen, watch it and think of how you are going to enjoy it. Then make the image black and white and shrink it to the bottom right of the screen until it's so tiny you almost can't see it. This simple tricks works great. If it doesn't work, go back to law 1 and use the 10% rule.

There is really no magic to beating emotional eating, sometimes it takes months and years to face the real issues behind it, if one is willing and patient, but I have seen the damage from food minimized, until real solutions present themselves.

Easter: West vs East

Easter comes a week later in Bulgaria. In the west of the Christian world, Easter lunches and early family dinners are long forgotten, digested, assimilated and worked off. Here, we are still battling the drama of Easter bread.

It's easy to spot the differences between the typical North American Easter meal and the Orthodox Christian traditional meal. Most people in the US, for example, will have one family gathering, where salad, ham and potatoes and possibly some cake will be present. Less of a feast than Thanksgiving and very similar to Christmas. If you happen to like Peeps, and end up roasting one of the poor things, you might have one before you've had enough.

Here, in the east, the nutritional drama begins with baking the traditional Easter cookies, usually on Thursday, ones rich in lard, butter and sunflower oil, sprinkled with sugar crystals and smelling so good, that all neighbors want to come and exchange recipes with you. Thus, Friday starts with coffee and one two or three of grandma's cookies. Saturdays see the making of traditional Easter bread, a yeast based fluffy, doughy treat, that is both sweet and not very filling, one that you can have a lot of and one that mates beautifully with butter and jam, dunks famously in milk and coffee and is best eaten with a bowl of fullfat plain yogurt. Since most families are serious about their Easter bread, they use the same dough to make mini scones and rolls and fill them with plum preserves, raisins, almonds and walnuts. These are best eaten warm out of the oven, and cause zero satiety. which is why two or more of them are usually what one eats while making Easter Bread. Dinner on Saturday is served after and before a piece of the aforementioned treat and Sunday breakfast is mostly the same bread with boiled eggs that fell victims of egg fights (in an egg fight, you just hit two eggs together, there is no throwing happening, much to the contrary of what some foreigners imagine). Sunday lunch is traditional lamb roast with rice stuffing, also followed by eggs and Easter bread. Of course, tea and coffee in the afternoon are accompanied by each faimily's traditional cookies and Easter breads, but now joined by their neighbors' and relatives's recipes too, since it's a tradition to bring those to people you love and care for...


To sum up, Orthodox Easter looks like your normal menu with the following additons:

Thursday night: warm cookies
Friday morning: cookies
Friday night in front of TV: cookies
Saturday: warm scones and rolls and Easter Bread
Sunday: now colder Easter Bread with butter and jam and plenty of eggs and lamb

After 4 days like this, most of my clients show up slightly bloated and needing extra training sessions to offset the calories they consumed.

Luckily, it's hard to eat over 4 lbs of Easter bread, which is how much it takes to put on 2 lbs of fat.